Resiliency in youth improves wellbeing

Resiliency in youth improves wellbeing

By Tiffany Trombley, M.S., LCMHC, NCSS Soar Learning Center Clinical Services Team Leader

As a community, the emotional wellbeing of our youth should be a top priority. Growing research indicates that early adverse life experiences effect social, emotional health and is correlated with the adoption of high risk behaviors and physical health issues.  Therefore, a drive to be pro-active versus reactive in creating skills to address complex life experiences is paramount.

In today’s world there are rising numbers of children and adolescents displaying symptoms of anxiety and depression. Adverse childhood experiences, environmental, psychological, and genetic factors, over-scheduled children, and poor sleep are known contributors to these states. Furthermore, many have speculated about the reason for the increased trend in recent years including more insolation, social media pressures, and academic demands. Potential outcomes of these internal experiences are poor school performance, problems with peers, substance use, psychosomatic illnesses, and low self-esteem.  In the event that these symptoms and experiences go untreated it can create psychopathology well into adulthood.

However, all is not lost. Research shows that building resiliency in children and adolescents can have a significant impact in reducing emotionality and the effect that adverse experiences have on them.  The tendency is to support our youth to avoid struggle which is often an unrealistic goal. Therefore, it is important to instead teach them how to handle adversity and build internal feelings of empowerment.  It’s not just about presenting opportunities to safely experience challenges and struggle but also to support them in knowing how to experience challenges with tolerance, self-compassion and grace. Child Psychologist, Dr. Wendy Mogel discusses how we strive to rid ourselves of sadness, worry, embarrassment and emotional pain. Yet these rich human experiences are part of life and we should be choosing to teach children and adolescents how to mentally frame these experiences and tolerate them so that they can learn and grow. The village that surrounds every young person should mindfully approach each interaction to send the messages of emotional acceptance, self-compassion, empowerment and an ability to move forward even when challenging experiences occur.

Resilience and wellbeing are skills that can be built not only in our youth but into adulthood. There are many ways that we can promote it as parents, educators, coaches and social workers across the spectrum of ages. Guiding our youth in developing “tool boxes” with internal and external skills is key. This can be done both as a daily practice and as teachable moments during difficult times.

Teaching children and adolescents to identify and manage their emotions is an important start. This can be accomplished in many ways but specifically reflecting on different emotions that we notice in them or others, engaging them in relaxing activities, helping them take care of their bodies both physically and mentally,  and doing something kind for others can be helpful in meeting this goal.  Additionally, if a child is being critical of themselves, you could suggest more helpful self-talk. For example, when a child says ‘I am the worst at tests I will never pass’. You could suggest alternatives phrasing such as ‘Taking tests isn’t my favorite, but I am up for the challenge’.

Educating our youth on how to approach the world with empathy and social confidence is also valuable. Getting children and adolescents involved in community or group activities or spending time with family or friends provides opportunities to form social connections, teaches them how to make and maintain friendships, building skills to work through conflict, and creating a sense of community.

Additionally, building healthy perspective taking skills could support positive reframing and tolerance during challenges.  Asking questions such as ‘is this a big or small problem’ and ‘this particular incident seems to be very hard; what’s something that went well today?’ are monumental in supporting alternative perspectives and positive attitude when emotions and situations feel large.  We can also show children and adolescents, through personal examples or stories from popular public figures, that difficult times are a natural and normal part of life and that things will get better even if it takes longer than we want.

These skills build the capacity to cope with emotions and support our youth to feel capable and empowered to overcome difficulty.  Author Nassim Taleb creates a nice image for the idea of building resilience “tool boxes” and embracing life challenges. He states that wind extinguishes a candle but energizes a fire. He advises us not to turn our youth into candles; instead “Encourage them to be the fire and wish for the wind.”

For more information, please feel free to call Northwestern Counseling & Support Services at 802-524-6554.